


you found me:  a slenderpooh love story

by pessimish



Category: slenderpooh
Genre: M/M, Slenderman - Freeform, Trees, Winnie the Pooh - Freeform, brace your asses, cultural appropriation of winnie the pooh, donald trump - Freeform, green day might make a cameo, i don't know what i expected from my friday night but here we are, this is gonna be chaptered
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-31 20:59:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8593570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pessimish/pseuds/pessimish
Summary: Slenderman is a lonely guy, roaming the forests late at night in a futile attempt of finding love. But when Winnie the Pooh comes along, honey won't be the only thing that never expires.





	

"AAAAAHHHH SOMEBODY HEL P ME" A familiar baritone voice screamed from afar.

Every person's voice began to sound the same to Slenderman. He only wanted love and affection. After being kicked out of his parents house for his menial job choice, a male stripper, there wasn't much for him to do but aimlessly wander through the forests in search of his true soulmate. He wouldn't find love; it would find him.  
The days would melt together in a wad of tree sap and kidney scones. (mind you, they were severe)  
Poor Slendy couldn't even receive medical attention. The last time he tried to visit a doctor, he mistakenly walked into the pediatrician's office and gave four children a heart attack. (Or an anal prolapse, he couldn't recall properly.)

His forlorn sighs gradually built a wall around his hope. A magnificent wall quite like Donald Trump's. 

Oh Donald. Slendy's sweet, sweet Donald. That slippery circus peanut gave Slenderman some wild inebriated nights. 

**_f l a s h b a c k_ **

"Donald, baby baboon, do you love me?" Slenderman tenderly asked, applying lotion to his dry twiggy legs.

"Bigly." 

Slenderman gasped, inhaling air that he believed was turned into oxygen by true love itself. He stood up in a swift motion and made his way to the kitchen so he could fetch the pair a drink. He picked up a bottle of Trump's vodka and zested a toupee cap into the glass. He wafted the beautiful fragrance into his nose holes. 

"Ah yes. He will love it." Slenderman grunted. 

Returning to the den carefully so as to not spill their drinks, he gently placed the martini glass on Donald's upper lip. Donald quickly retreated the drink and placed it in between his fingers, giving the taller man a brief nod of appreciation as he placed a mouth flap over the brim. Slenderman anxiously awaited his reaction. 

"Exquisite."

"I'm so glad you like it, mi amor." Slenderman graciously coiled his arm around Donald's thicc chest. Donald lifted a hand, signaling an 'ok' sign and pursing his lips with a timid smile.

"What's wrong, naranja bebe? Are you not satisfied with my mixology?" Slenderman asked in a bashful whisper. 

Donald's eyes bounced between his lover and the floor as if he were mentally playing eeny meeny miny moe, before finally, very slowly, landing on Slenderhombre. He began to lift a lip but immediately clasped it shut, turning his head aside. Slendy uncoiled one loop of his arm and stroked Donald's earlobe in a solacing manor. Donald finally released a word.

"China."

And with that, he was gone. 

Where a man of great wealth once sat was now completely covered in dorito powder and glitter. Slenderman's hushed screams of despair were louder than Shrek's mighty ogre rawr xD 

This began a new era of Slendy's life.

His troubled past perpetually haunted him as the days came and went. The mystery of Donald's whereabouts kept him awake at night, forcing him to believe that somewhere in the world he was alive and longing for his tall, elegant companion. This night was no different from any other. 

Every time he smelled a human in the forest, Slenderman would follow them and try to contain his excitement for the long awaited release of endorphins that had been pent up after all these years. A hug. 

A hug. It's all that he ever wanted. Everybody ran, screamed, yodeled, shouted, defecated, cried, or in some rare cases- laughed- at the sight of Slendy's figure. When did things become so disenchanted? Why couldn't he be _accepted_? He felt like his importance was evanescent to the loved ones from his past. 

***cue restless heart syndrome by green day***

Slenderman exhaled his nomadic thoughts before realizing he had been holding onto a tree. This must be the level he has reached. Hugging trees. Maybe he was meant for a tree, one taller than him to make everything else seem pint sized and insignificant. There was no thing or body in the world that wanted him here. 

***slenderman starts singing creep by radiohead***

Belting out in vibrato, he sang the words to his soul song. 

_"I'm a creep~_  
_I'm a weirdooooooo_  
_What the h*ck am I doing here??????_  
_I don't belong heree"_

"OHHHH OHHHHHH SHEEEEEEEEEEE'SSS RUUUNNNINGG OUTTTT thE dooooOOOoooooOOOOOOorrrRRRRRR" 

Suddenly, a comforting voice joined in.

"SHEEEE'S RUUNNING OUTT,, she ruN RUNNN RUNNN rrrr-"

And in the most surprising moment of his life, perfect harmony had been impeccably depicted with the two voices of lost souls in a world of broken things. 

"rrUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNn uuuuNNNNNNN" 

Slenderman turned around, smiling from [ERROR 404 EAR NOT FOUND] to [2319]. This gorgeous melody could have only come from an ethereal being.

"Romeo, romeo, where art thou" Slenderman shouted at the top of his carnally nonexistent lungs. 

"I'm right here, friend." Out came a devito sized body from behind a tree. Albeit small, but beautiful. Crispy banana tinted skin, Christmas red attire, and a muscular arm lugging a large pot of sweet bee syrup shone from beside a log. 

"Wha- what's your name, mighty one?" Slenderman quivered.

"Winnie. Winnie the Pooh." The bean smiled, reaching out his fuzzy arms for what Slenderman had dreamt of for years. Minus the sexual tension.

***we belong by pat benatar starts playing***

"Nice to meet you, Wing He Thai Pu." Slenderman chanted. 

"What about you? What's your name?" Winnie let out a fond giggle, covering his mouth. 

"I thought you'd never ask! My name is Slenderman." 

"That's a unique name, buddy! Want to be friends?" Winnie grinned.

"O-of course I would!" 

Slenderman reached down and coiled his arms around the bee nugget below him, nuzzling his ear with a smooth forehead.

Can you hear that? It's the sound of love blooming between a tall crusty twig and a small heart of a fig.


End file.
